A 52-year-old grandmother writes to advice columnist R. Eric Thomas about her frustrations with her daughter, who is not stepping up to take care of her own child. The grandmother has become the primary caregiver for her granddaughter due to her daughter’s poor life choices and lack of motivation. She is angry because her life is no longer her own, she is financially supporting her daughter, and she finds taking care of a toddler to be boring.
The advice columnist suggests that the grandmother may need to shift her expectations and accept that her daughter may never change. Instead of trying to change her daughter, the grandmother should focus on making active choices out of love for her granddaughter. Setting boundaries with her daughter or reframing the situation as a choice made out of love can help alleviate some of the resentment.
The columnist advises the grandmother to find small ways to reclaim her own time and continue pushing her daughter, even if she fails. Ultimately, the granddaughter deserves a parent, and the grandmother deserves to live her own life as well. This difficult situation may not be fair to the grandmother, but it is a reality she must navigate with love and compassion.
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