A woman writes to advice columnist R. Eric Thomas about whether or not she should attend her goddaughter’s bat mitzvah, even though her ex-husband will be there. Thomas advises her to go if she is close to the family and it would mean a lot to them, even if she avoids interacting with her ex. On the other hand, if the invite feels perfunctory, she can decline. Thomas emphasizes the importance of paying attention to her own feelings and letting go of the past.
Another letter comes from a frustrated wife whose husband sends Amazon gift cards to women for sexual favors, usually involving sexting. Thomas defines cheating as anything that violates the rules of a relationship and advises the wife to have a clear conversation with her husband about their boundaries. If possible, she should limit his access to their money and express her discomfort with his actions.
Lastly, a couple is invited to a wedding where the groom is an anti-vaxxer and likely racist. The wife, who is Black, feels uncomfortable attending the wedding with racist relatives, and Thomas suggests that they respectfully decline the invitation. Thomas encourages them to enjoy their free weekend and avoid a potentially troubling situation.
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