Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Falchuk chose to live apart for the first year of their marriage, a decision Paltrow attributed to preserving their autonomy and mystery in the relationship. This live-apart arrangement may seem unconventional, but journalist Vicki Larson reveals that around 10% of adults worldwide live away from their partners, not due to external circumstances, but as a lifestyle choice. Larson’s new book, “LATitude: How You Can Make a Live Apart Together Relationship Work,” explores this growing trend in personal relationships.
Live-apart couples, or LAT couples, opt for separate households while maintaining commitment, challenging the notion that cohabitation is necessary for a successful relationship. Larson’s research found that LAT arrangements can benefit women more than men, offering independence and space often lacking in traditional relationships. Despite historical examples of couples living apart, such as African Americans under slavery and Ashanti and Minangkabau men, there is still stigma surrounding the LAT lifestyle.
Practical challenges, like costs and jealousy, can arise in LAT relationships, requiring both partners to be fully committed and mature. While living together is often seen as a sign of commitment, LAT couples find that absence can lead to more intimacy and improved communication. By choosing to live apart, these couples navigate societal expectations and redefine what a romantic relationship looks like.
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