A daughter seeks advice on whether to attend her estranged 88-year-old mother’s funeral as they have not had a close relationship for their entire lives. The daughter has not communicated with her mother for eight years and feels that she is better off without her in her life. She does not have any positive memories to reflect on and feels it would be hypocritical to attend the service. Her siblings disagree, but the daughter feels that her decision is final.
Advice columnist R. Eric Thomas advises the daughter that her siblings may have their own narratives and relationships with their mother, which may be different from hers. He suggests that she does not need to create positive memories where there were none and that her siblings should release her from the expectation of co-signing their version of events. Thomas recommends that the daughter talk about her feelings with a trusted person or therapist and lean on friends and loved ones for support during this difficult time.
The column addresses the complex dynamics that can arise when a family member dies and the differing perspectives and emotions that family members may have. It emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and seeking support to navigate these challenging situations.
Note: The image is for illustrative purposes only and is not the original image of the presented article.
