A caregiver writes to advice columnist R. Eric Thomas about her 92-year-old mother who is recovering from a stroke and needs assisted living. The caregiver’s sister initially insisted on looking after their mom but is now overwhelmed and unable to have her own life. The caregiver, who is retired, visits her mom but is not comfortable with the level of care needed.
While the siblings agree that their mom needs assisted living, the sister keeps coming up with reasons against it, such as believing that facilities hire subpar staff or not wanting to go against their mom’s will. The columnist advises that the sister needs to accept what’s best for their mother and prioritize her wishes. He suggests having a family meeting where their mom can confirm that she wants to move to an assisted-living facility. One of the siblings should take the lead in finding a suitable facility that meets their mother’s needs. The columnist emphasizes the importance of honoring their mother’s wishes above all else.
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