In a recent letter to advice columnist Annie Lane, a reader expressed their dilemma over being asked to take in their mother’s separated partner who has no savings or retirement funds. The reader feels conflicted as they are not equipped to care for their stepfather and worry about the impact on their own life and marriage.
The reader, who has always felt like an outsider in their family, is grappling with feelings of guilt and obligation. They fear losing their family if they say no, but also worry about the strain it could put on their own relationships and mental health if they agree.
Annie Lane reassures the reader that it is not selfish to prioritize their own well-being and suggests exploring other options with their family. This could involve looking into government assistance for the stepfather or providing financial support without taking him in.
The column ends with a note about Annie Lane’s new anthology on marriage, infidelity, communication, and reconciliation, encouraging readers to send in their questions. The advice given provides a reminder that it’s important to set boundaries and consider all options before making a decision based on guilt or obligation.
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